Happy Friday! Welcome back to our "Women Beauty Purpose & Empowerment" Blog! This week we caught up with prolific author, Selena Haskins and she granted us an exclusive interview. Enjoy and feel free to share!
Bio
Selena Haskins is a native Washingtonian who enjoys music, reading, spirituality, and spending quality time with her family. Selena's secret passion is playing video games. That's right, Selena is a gamer! Besides writing, she loves watching an intense game of NBA Basketball. You can find her in front of the TV cheering for her Boston Celtics!
A River Moves Forward
Synopsis: Connie Morris grows up in Chicago’s Cabrini Green projects, and suffers abuse from her father. When tragedy strikes the family, Connie is virtually the last survivor, and ends up homeless until an unexpected hobby leads to fortune and fame. At the peak of her career, someone from her past tries to destroy everything she has worked hard for. Connie could possibly lose it all, including herself. On the other side of Chicago is Dean Wilson, a cocky police officer whose marriage ends tragically. Soon he meets Connie and the two fall in love, but when they learn their paths have crossed before, it sends them on an emotional ride that could prove to be too much. What happened in their past could possibly ruin their future or make their love strong enough to forgive and move forward.
Interview with Selena Haskins
1. What is the best and worst decision you've ever made?
The best decision I ever made was to publish my book. The worst decision I ever made was waiting so long to do it.
2. What was your dream job as a kid and why? My dream job as a kid was to become an actor. It seemed like a lot of fun to pretend to be somebody else.
3. You have written a beautiful book, A River Moves Forward. Tell us about the significance of the title and what it is about. Thank you. A River Moves Forward was a title I came up with because no matter what happens in life, like a river, it will always move forward. So for us as humans, in order to take that journey forward in our lives, we have to learn from our mistakes, be forgiving and move on.
4. What do you think is the most significant barrier for women in 2013? Every wall can be climbed with the proper tools. Whether we are women or men, whatever obstacles are thrown our way, we can overcome them with the right tools, the right resources, knowledge, wisdom, and a good system.
5. What woman inspires you and why? My mother inspires me because she is not a quitter. The blood, sweat and tears, she never gives up on her goals. The inspiration I get from her is just keep trying and never quit.
6. What will be the biggest challenge for the generation of women behind you?
The biggest challenge for women coming up in the generation behind me will be understanding and appreciating their self-worth. It is important to understand the kind of messages we say about ourselves based on how we dress, talk, and carry ourselves. When we look at reality shows and all we see is women fighting over men and degrading each other and themselves. We need to put out more positive messages that will help our young women to become “ladies.” This is the only way they will be respected in our society.
Bette A. Stevens is an author and retired teacher who received her B.S. in Elementary Education from the University of Maine at Orono before embarking on graduate courses in Curriculum Studies at Chapman University in California. She taught in elementary and middle school classrooms in California and Virginia. Stevens and her husband are now retired and living in Hartland. Stevens has written articles for ECHOES, The Northern Maine Journal of Rural Culture based in Caribou, Maine. Her love of children, of literature and of learning inspired her to write her first children’s book, The Tangram Zoo and Word Puzzles Too! Stevens’s latest award-winning children’s picture book: AMAZING MATILDA, A Monarch’s Tale, is a beautiful story that is sure to inspire readers and listeners alike, not only to reach for their own dreams, but to encourage others to do the same. PURE TRASH, The Story (released July 2013) is Stevens’s first book, a short story, for the Middle-grade/YA/Adult audience. It is a prequel to her upcoming debut. PURE TRASH, The Novel will be a coming of age novel featuring Shawn Daniels, the short story’s protagonist. Novel’s planned for release is Spring 2014) Find out more about the author and her books on her page on Amazon.
Interview with Bette A. Stevens
1.Can you tell us a little about yourself and your journey as a writer?
I am a writer who loves nature, people and literature. I advocate for children, promote childhood literacy and feature authors and their books on my website/blog and social media sites. I have been writing for many years. First, non-fiction, journalistic pieces that featured stories about interesting people. While teaching, I began writing books and stories that I could use in the classroom. I am inspired by nature and often take notes about God’s glorious canvas that surrounds us everywhere and later turn them into short poems. My stories, although fictional, are based upon real people that have entered my life and touched it deeply in some way. Actually, writing fiction was a step-in-faith for me. I have been an avid reader all of my life, but didn’t realize that I could write my own fiction until taking a creative writing course in the 1990s. For me, writing is my way of inspiring people—sometimes revealing the positive, at other times, revealing the negative. In a way, I hope to be a teacher (although I’m now retired from the classroom) to my readers by giving them pause for thought and discussion. I think that is the teacher in me.
2.As an Author, how do you divide your time between your writing and promotional activities?
My ideal would be one-third promoting and two-thirds writing. As a new author, that ideal is pretty much turned upside-down at this point and will likely be revised over time. But, I think that is probably a natural step in the writer’s journey… Just as learning and growing and changing is part of our everyday experience. I’m sure that I’ll find many new and exciting challenges along the way.
3. Describe your writing style in ten words or less.
Hopefully, my writing style is descriptive, accessible, informative and thought-provoking.
4.When you hear from your readers, what do they say? My readers have all been very positive. Reviewers and proof readers have helped me to improve my writing and are invaluable allies. I am blessed in so many ways.
5.How do you use social media to promote your writing? I try to post everything on all of my sites, while highlighting articles of interest and other authors and their books as well as writing tips and helpful ideas to involve families in reading, writing and spending time together.
6.How is this world a better place because of your books?
My goal is to inspire us all (myself included) to be better people―to believe in ourselves, to care for others and our natural world and to meet our challenges in ways that will improve our own lives and the world around us.
7. What are 5 life lessons you have learned that other women should know?
•“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” Proverbs 3: 5,6 (NKJV) •Life is short― make the most of every moment •People are more important than things •Be kind to everyone •Be a good listener •Follow your dreams
Books
AMAZING MATILDA: A Monarch’s Tale (Award-winning children’s picture book) MATILDA’s Video debut THE TANGRAM ZOO & WORD PUZZLES TOO! (Children’s activity book) PURE TRASH (1950s short story for YA/adult readers)
Tara Ford lives in Hampshire, UK with her husband, children and a naughty husky called Meika. In between writing she enjoys taking care of her numerous Koi fish, but occasionally she also has to live with a frustrated heron that frequents the garden fence and peers longingly into the well protected pond. Tara’s writing career began at the tender age of 15 when she wrote a beautiful love story as part of her English literature homework. Her writing career came to an abrupt end at the tender age of 15 when the teacher tore up her story, exclaiming that the content of the essay was highly unsuitable material for school. Although it had not been in the realms of 50 Shades of Grey, Tara’s first attempt at a short story had been shunned. Over 3 decades of child-rearing, fish-fostering and dog walking later, Tara has reignited her dream of writing. Her first book, Calling All Services, a women's fiction-humour story, was released in July 2013. She has always wanted to write in this genre, but until a couple of years ago, she could never quite think of a good storyline. Then a sudden illness and some time in hospital gave her the beginnings of a novel which would eventually turn out to be the first book of four in the Calling All series. Tara has completed the second book in the series, Calling All Dentists, which she hopes to publish, early 2014. Her third novel, Calling All Customers is currently an early stage, work in progress and her plans are to release this in 2015. Tara has ideas for a further series, again in the women’s fiction-humour genre, to be written in the future. Her ultimate dream would be to write a new book each and every year.
Tara’s debut novel, Calling All Services is a peep into the lives of one family, over the course of one unusually, eventful week. A rollercoaster of emotions will have you laughing, crying and cringing as the week unfolds to reveal one disaster after another. Will the members of the Frey family ever be the same again?
Blurb – Calling All Services
Alex Frey, successful businesswoman, wife and mother to a busy and demanding family, doesn’t find it easy to take a break. So when she’s hospitalised with a mysterious illness, paralysed and afraid of what the future might bring, frustration meets fear and she can’t wait to escape the hospital, get back in control of things and return her family to the normality of salmon paste sandwiches. At home, her husband Grant is determined to manage the kids, Alex’s parents, his sister and anything else life can throw at him while his wife is away recuperating. But what else can possibly go wrong while Alex is in hospital? The Frey family is about to find out.
It is inevitable that all of us will face some challenge whether at work, school, home or life in general. For some, it can take a toll on our self-confidence. It is important to take care of your mind, because a stressed out or negative mind won’t work as effectively to find a solution as a calm, positive mind. Avoid beating up yourself and follow the steps below:
1. Remove all negative energy from your body.
It’s incredible the amount of tension that builds up from thinking self-limiting thoughts. Take your attention away from your doubts for a moment and take three deep breaths, inhaling for a count of four and exhaling for a count of four.
2. Jot down your thoughts.
Just do a brain dump of all the negative thoughts and worries you are feeling without judgment but do time yourself. I love the website www.online-stopwatch.com for this exercise. For three to five minutes, write or type as quickly as possible. You can rip up your paper (or delete your file) in the end as a symbol of letting go of that bad energy and starting fresh.
3. Take action.
Stop yourself and ask, “Is this really true?” This simple but powerful question can help you gain major perspective.
4. Remember to smile.
Go ahead and aim for a big, toothy grin: the bigger, the better. If the idea of smiling is tough, think about someone you love. My favorite trick? Look up a few pictures of adorable, cute baby animals online using Google. I dare you not to smile!
5. Use positive affirmation:
From time to time your subconscious mind needs to be positively affirmed. Just remember you can heal your life by speaking positive and faith filled words over any situation you are facing. A positive affirmation you can use is: "I am unlimited". There is no limit to what you can do. Take some quiet time to reflect and repeat this mantra over and over until you start to believe it.
6. Live a life of service to others.
Helping others is a great way to feel good about yourself. You must offer your talents to your community or someone in need. Sometimes you just need to offer a kind word to the elderly, who can sometimes feel isolated or a child who is feeling unloved. Not only will you support them but also you’ll add more meaning to your own life. The next time you are looking for something to be grateful for, you will always remember the good you did.
Don't feel overwhelmed by attempting all the steps at once. Aim to master at least one, then master the rest!
Bio Jenaae Jackson was born in Kingston, Jamaica on June 1st 1990. She attended school on the island before migrating to the United States with her family at the age of seven. During her teenage years Jenaae began modeling, working with companies such as JC Penny and designers such as Heatherettes Richie Rich. In 2005, Jackson won her first pageant title when she was crowned Miss Teen Florida Caribbean 2005. She later went on to represent Jamaica in the international Miss Earth 2009 pageant held in Boracay, Philippines, where she competed against 80 contestants from around the world. In 2013 Jackson competed in the Miss Jamaica World contest and placed First Runner Up in the contest, winning sectional prizes Best Figure and Best Skin Tone. She also won the Miss Jamaica World Model Fast Track, placed First Runner Up in the Beach Beauty Fast Track, and Top 10 in the Sports Fast Track competition. Jackson plans to launch an international luxury event-planning firm and obtain her Masters of Business Administration in the near future.
Lil ole me? A brand? It would be: “I’m just a girl with big dreams, conspiring a master plan to take over the Universe. Don't believe me.. just watch.”
3. You emerged on the world stage as a confident, beautiful and intelligent young lady when you competed in The Miss Jamaica World Pageant 2013. How has this experience transformed your life?
This experience really has just given me more enthusiasm to do all the things I dream of doing. I’ve gained more confidence to lengthen my goals and bucket list. I will take the lessons, experiences, and relationships gained during Miss Jamaica World to continue my journey to live my life to the fullest.
4. What does success means to you?
To me success is when you have reached a point in your life where you have a feeling of fulfillment. When you feel there is no more climb to climb, because you are at your peak, you are exactly where you want to be. I think everyone accomplishes this feeling differently. For some it may mean reaching the executive level in the company they work and obtaining certain material items, for others it may just be having a happy, healthy family. For me, well I’m still figuring it out. I’m still very much climbing and striving to discover that peace and feeling of fulfillment or “success”.
5. Many young people today are feeling discouraged for many reasons. Do you see yourself as a role model?
I am young, ambitious, and know exactly what I want in life and where I want to be. I am not perfect person by far, and I too get discouraged at times. However, I am confident in my abilities and I do see myself as a positive and relatable role model.
6. Do you feel a sense of responsibility to continue to inspire people who have great expectations from you?
Yes I do, and I like that sense of responsibility. It keeps me motivated. I’m very honored to be a source of inspiration, and am working hard to exceeding those great expectations. When I get lazy, the thought that others are watching and have great expectations of me helps me get back on track. I am very grateful for this.
7. How do you define "beauty with a purpose"?
Beauty. By definition beauty is the quality or aggregate of qualities in a person or thing that gives pleasure to the senses or pleasurably exalts the mind or spirit. Beauty surpasses physical attractiveness, which are both often used interchangeably and/or confused with one another, but are very different. How pretty ones face is, the shape of the eyes, the length and luster of the hair, or the symmetry of the face are all measurements of ones physical attractiveness. However, these measurements vary in the opinions of different people, and change completely depending on the particular country you are or ones culture. Beauty however continues deep to a person’s soul, and is unvarying internationally. Beauty is not measured, but felt. Purpose is the goal toward which one strives or for which something exists, a reason for ones being that feeds ones soul. Beauty and purpose, together these qualities are a force to be reckoned with. Beauty with a purpose to me is a spirit that transcends people from all walks of life, with an internal determination for any goal that contributes to the world.
8. Of God & Spirituality, how important is your faith.
Faith is very important to me. My faith keeps me motivated. "You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith." - Mary Manin Morrissey
10 "Jackson was crowned the first runner-up, and she also took home the coveted prizes for 'Best Figure' and 'Best Skin Tone'. If any other person had the ability to upstage the queen it was Jackson, who was a crowd favourite and a worthy contender. Jackson was the most confident of the lot, and even sang to the audience while showing how she would promote Brand Jamaica if she had to." This was a direct quote about your amazing performance on coronation night for Miss Jamaica World. What advice would you give women who would like to follow in your footsteps?
Miss Jamaica World was a really great experience for me. I truly believe pageants in general are a great opportunity for girls to develop life skills, gain confidence, build relationships, gain exposure, and have fun. I encourage young women interested in participating in pageants to go for it!
11. What are your top five beauty and skin-care regimen that you use to achieve your flawless beauty?
Hmm.. I can’t think of five that I really practice religiously, but ill share two that I actually do.
For me, the most important rule is completely cleansing your skin at night before bed. During the day with all the makeup, dirt, sweat, sun exposure, and hand touching, by the end of the day your skin is beat and needs to rejuvenate. It’s important that you thoroughly cleanse all the makeup and impurities before bed so that your skin can recover while you sleep. Whenever I skip this because I’m too lazy, I regret it either by the next day when my skin looks tired or a couple days after when I have a big pimple. Invest in some cleansing wipes for those nights you are too exhausted to make it to the bathroom sink as a back up.
Nails! I’m a girl who loves having my nails done. Weather in the salon or at home, I try to maintain my nails once a week. Stay away from acrylic! When I want my nail polish to last really long I have the gel or shellac mani done at the salon. Love, love, love! It last forever, make your nails harder and extra shiny and don’t damage your nails if removed correctly. They sell the at home kit in the pharmacies now, definitely worth it!
12. What is your next hurdle in life?
My current hurdle in life is completing my Business degree, as well as continuing to grow my business plan.
LisaMarie describes her bio as one of survival from being abused as a child, and finally letting go all traces of hate from her heart to become a Health and Life Coach and most recently, Wedding Wellness Expert. Both her parents died a sudden yet peaceful death. For a long time, she felt orphaned due to the loss of her parents. She said: "I know it's the way it's suppose to be. But I think they wanted to die before me." However, she is comforted by the fact that she had the opportunity to say goodbye to her father who told her he loved her and that she was the most adaptable person he ever met. She has kept that loving memory of her father alive with her for many years and it helped her whenever she faced any challenges.
While many people make various resolutions, LisaMarie's main goal for 2013 is to "forgive everyone and set my heart free." Without a doubt it was a struggle to find peace in the midst of chaos and difficulty. However, she describes her pathway to happiness as both freeing for her while being a teachable moment for her daughter.
Motherhood...
One of LisaMarie's proudest achievements is the privilege of being a mother. In today's society where many children lack parental affection and guidance, her daughter feels extremely grateful to have had both her parents throughout her life. She considers LisaMarie her role model and she has been married since October 2012. Motherhood has certainly brought happiness to LisaMarie's life. She said: "We were proud that my daughter had her married parents there. It meant a lot to her."
Marriage...
LisaMarie has been married for thirty years to her loving husband. Like a fairytale story, she was very fortunate to find her soulmate right after High School. He has loved, cherished, encouraged and accepted her for the empowered woman she has become.
Battling Cancer & Lupus...
Lupus is an autoimmune disease where the body's immune system becomes hyperactive and attacks normal, healthy tissue. This results in symptoms such as inflammation, swelling, and damage to joints, skin, kidneys, blood, the heart, and lungs. International superstar Singer, Toni Braxton has been battling the disease for many years. LisaMarie describes her own experience with both Cancer and Lupus as illnesses which kept her trapped for many years. However, through much research and experimenting with products she has found a way to create a healthy balance in her life. By taking control of her life, she had found her strength. Today, her mission is to support and help other women who have been through similar experiences and to give them hope.
Business, Wellness, and the Future...
LisaMarie has loved every job she has ever had and since then everything, including her life experiences, has come together now. She believes you should live, love, but laugh and as such she cherishes her unique sense of humor. LisaMarie has spent considerable time, creating programs, services and products she believes will help other women. Her commitment and service to empowering the lives of other women has become a lifetime passion and purpose. Being a Health and Life Coach has been extremely gratifying because she has lived through many painful experiences and can boldly share her experiences. She looks back on her story with a fresh new attitude, knowing that it was beautifully written for her and even though she walked in the midst of chaos for a long time, her faith, hope and the love of her family helped her to discover her true purpose.
Healthy is the New Beautiful..
"It doesn't matter what stage of life you are in as long as you feel you are ready to be better than you ever imagined you can be. For a long time I thought it's over. Then I started watching Martha Stewart. First getting organizing. That's the key to a fresh start. Once your surroundings are in place you can center your mind. Then I was able to breathe again. I planted some herbs. They grew..."See More
Wedding Wellness Business... Before you get married get organized in your lifestyle with Wellness both mentally & physically. Get all your papers in order, you'll need them forever. This isn't boot camp. It's a fun, effective way to be stress free and blissful from this day on. Take a look at our programs and take good care of yourself.
"This isn't a boot camp this is a I'll fit in my dress and still like my mother at the end of the journey. We don't plan the wedding we coach what's happening & the journey ahead. With a fun box of Martha Stewart wellness & spice." -LisaMarie
To benefit from LisaMarie's Life Coaching & Wedding Wellness services, join her this October 2013 at The Pacific Amphitheater Red Carpet Event in California.
Linda Edgecombe, CSP, HoF is an award winning Celebrity Humorist Speaker, Trainer and Consultant. Her footprint is seen and experienced around the world. Her mission is to get people Fired up and Ready to Shift or Get off the Pot! Her "non-BS" approach is refreshing, engaging and relevant. She is a bestselling author and her promise is to help her audiences to create powerful shifts, become more accountable and build on momentum. Change has never been this sexy! She energizes every room as she leads people to loosen up, lighten the load and laugh. Her audiences are motivated and show how they can shift their perspectives on life, and work themselves. She has been featured in the Wall Street Journal as an expert in "Shifting Perspectives". Currently, she is filming her reality show “Reset TV”, where she gives advice to busy families and out of control work teams. Her message is as welcomed as a deep belly laugh and as profound as an honest look in the mirror.
Interview with Linda Edgecombe
1: Tell us a little about who Linda Edgecombe is and what is your vision/mission: I always joke and say that Linda Edgecombe is a mother of 2 and a wife of one. I love to laugh and I love to make people laugh. I am a deep thinker who lives a big life full of good family, friends, food and laughter. Throw in a good glass of red wine and that's a good day. My biggest mission is to get people to create new stories in their lives. It's those of us in the end with the best stories that win. I have been speaking and writing for the past 23 years. And even though I am not as keen as I used to be to get on another flight, I just love being on stage. What can i say, I am a leo and on stage is my "happy place" Just give me that mic.
2: What inspired you to become a Motivational/Professional Speaker?
In my last job, I was required to go and give 10 -15 minute presentations for the organization I worked for. I have always had an irreverent sense of humor and I have a "low give a shit" factor (you probably can't print that. ) So I like going to the edge. I like mixing the pot a bit. People sit up and take notice when it's not the same old porridge they are used to. One day, someone called me out of the blue and asked if I could speak at their convention, so I scrambled to figure out how to fill an hour and literally from there, the phone started to ring. I knew fairly quickly that the funnier I was, the more bookings I got. And here I am 23 years later.
3: You have been called the "Re-Set Expert For Crazy Times". What are the main issues people generally come to you about and what advice do you recommend?
Most of my clients are looking for a good ole kick in the butt for themselves and their staff. They know that my delivery is a no BS approach surrounded by lots of laughter and energy. Everything I or anyone could ever say to any audience out there, has ALREADY been said. I just try and say it in a way that resonates differently. I like it when people say I am a breath of fresh air. or, can we take you home, or even better: " I haven't laughed like that in a long time" My recommendation is when we are more accountable for our life outside of work, it changes how we see and experience our work. So,,, take it back. (your life that is)
4: Confidence is everything. How do you find the confidence to move masses of people to have faith in themselves?
Courage and confidence does not come to anyone before they go to do or try something new. It comes after they have done it. It comes after they have walked through it. When I started, I could not hold a piece of paper because I was shaking so much. Just walk into whatever it is you want to try. And take the word 'hover' out of your vocabulary. The entire planet hovers. MOVE on something, anything!
5: You have been privileged to travel across the globe as a Speaker and Entrepreneur. What are 6 lessons of success you would pass on to other women around the world?
We (women) are all the same. Although we are different, we are predictable. I do charity work in Nepal and out in the smallest villages, with no TV or other media, these women, still fix their hair when we take photos.
Drop the guilt and shame. I have suffered from depression 3 times in my adult life and yes even motivational speakers have to work on their mental health. Let me say it again, you are not crazy.
Move your body for at least 30 minutes 5 days a week. I don't care how, just get more oxygen in your blood system 5 days a week.
Find your own funny faster. Laugh more, it alone can change your life. It pulls people together and builds bridges. Figure out what makes you laugh and get on it.
Stop wasting energy on what size you are, now coming from experience I figure I have spent 50% of my time and energy worrying on my size. when people I speak to and work with and cook for, Don't even remotely see me that way
Nurture your friendships and girlfriends especially. I have this saying that is on my office wall. "We gather our friends because they will always support our case, but our best friends will tell us when we are no longer cute after we've had too much wine"
It's cliche but the truth is we can do anything we put our mind to. Go and set one goal this year that simply scares the hell out of you.
Currently Linda Edgecombe is filming her own Reality Show where she gives advice to people from relationships to business. Want to see Linda Edgecombe in action? Check out her videos and subscribe to her Youtube Channel
Hope you can join Linda Edgecombe for her October 18-20th, 2013 Gears and Gals Weekend at Sparkling Hills Resort and Spa! Click here to find out more and register.
Kathleen Pooler is a writer and a retired Family Nurse Practitioner who is working on a memoir and a sequel about how the power of hope through her faith in God has helped her to transform, heal and transcend life’s obstacles and disappointments: domestic abuse, divorce, single parenting, loving and letting go of an alcoholic son, cancer and heart failure to live a life of joy and contentment. She believes that hope matters and that we are all strengthened and enlightened when we share our stories. In her own words: "Along with sharing my writing journey with you, I want to reach out and share how hope works in my life and to hear how it works in your life. We are all strengthened and enlightened when we share our stories. Perhaps, it will help you find your own pathway to hope."
Interview with Kathleen Pooler
1. Where are you from? I was born in Schenectady, New York, home of the General Electric Plant in eastern New York State. My family moved to Corning, New York when I was five. Since then I have lived in three different states-Pennsylvania, Wisconsin and Missouri before circling back east to my roots in 1990. I currently live in Amsterdam, New York at the foothills of the Adirondack Mountains.
2. What are the names of your current books?
I have two stories published in anthologies. The first is “The Stone on the Shore” in The Woman I’ve Become: 37 Women Share Their Journeys From Toxic Relationships to Self-Empowerment”(Pat LaPointe, 2012). The second one is “Choices and Chances: A Mother’s Tough Love Saves Her Son’s Life” in My Gutsy Story Anthology ( publication pending 9/13, Sonia Marsh)
3. Tell us your latest news and what projects you are currently working on: I am working on two memoirs. The first memoir,Choice’s and Chances: My Jagged Journey to Self(working title) chronicles my journey into and out of two emotionally-abusive marriages. In a brief phrase it is about “finding and believing in one’s voice.” It is in the final editing stage and I plan to query small publishers in the next few months.
The second memoir, Hope Matters: A Memoir of Faith (working title) is about how the simultaneous battles of a cancer diagnosis (Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma) and my teenaged son’s descent into alcoholism which brought me to my knees and deepen my faith. In a phrase, it's “a story of how the power of hope helps overcome life’s obstacles.” It is in the first draft stage, 75% completed.
4. When and why did you begin writing?
For years, like many others, I have felt I had a book inside me. I have enjoyed writing since I was about ten years old when I wrote plays for my maternal grandmother, Nan and all her little Italian lady friends. I can still recall seeing them gathered in the living room sipping coffee and chattering on in Italian. I never understood a word, but I can still feel their fascination and loving attention as they hushed each other when I stood at the archway to announce the play would begin.
As I grew older and began facing life with all its complications, I found myself journaling my way through the heartaches of relationship failures, the searing pain of divorce, the exhaustion of being a single parent, the terror of loving and living with an alcoholic son, the deaths of my best friend, Judy as well as Nan, my father as well as facing my own cancer diagnosis. Journaling became my pathway to healing, capturing moments of need, longing, passion, creativity—my life.
5. What inspired you to write your first book?
In 2000, I started out writing about being the mother of an alcoholic son, a topic that was foremost in my mind. As I began to write, I realized I couldn't tell his story until I told my own. In 2009, I began taking workshops in memoir writing through The National Association of Memoir Writers with Linda Joy Myers. After three years of continuous workshops, I had piles of vignettes to shape into a story. The story I had started writing in 2000 is not the story I have ended up with in 2013. It has been through the writing that I have found my story, which has morphed into two memoirs.
6. Do you have a specific writing style?
Journaling has helped me to find the seeds of my stories. I like to free write with no editing then go back and revise. I try to journal daily and I always journal when I have reached a point of difficulty or frustration, either in my life or in my writing.
7. Is there a message in your book that you want readers to grasp?
Yes, with Memoir #1, I want to inspire others who have found themselves in abusive relationships to look at their role in enabling abuse and to find their own way out.
With Memoir #2, in sharing how the power of hope through my faith in God has helped me to overcome life’s challenges, I want to encourage others to find their own source of strength in their life challenges. Hope matters.
8. Do you see writing as a career?
Absolutely! When I “retired” from my beloved nursing profession as a family nurse practitioner in 2011, I wanted to focus on my writing. It hasn't taken long to realize I did not “retire”, but I had “transitioned” into another career. There is no greater gift than to be doing what you love to do.
9. Can you share a little of your current books with us?
Here is the logline for Memoir # 1, Choices and Chances: “How does a young woman who comes from a loving, stable family make so many wise decisions when it comes to career, but so many wrong choices when it comes to love, so that she ends up sacrificing career and having to flee with her children from an abusive second marriage? What is getting in her way and why does she keep taking so many self-defeating detours?”
10. Here is the logline for Memoir #2, Hope Matters: A Memoir of Faith: "When a cancer diagnosis meets her teen son’s spiral into alcoholism, a woman, twice-divorced and alone, is forced to dig deeply to find the faith that has always been there. This sends her on a journey of self-discovery about her life, her faith and her hope for a second chance..."
11. Have you designed the covers as yet?
This is on my to-do list. I have explored several options, including contracting with a book designer ( 1106 Design).
12. What was the hardest part of writing your books?
I think the hardest part has been uncovering the layers of my story and facing the pain of my own self-defeating choices. I’ve had to work on self-forgiveness and compassion so I can tell my story in a way that conveys lessons learned. When I realize I would make different choices today, I feel the growth and transformation. Memoir writing is a long, deliberative process. Often times I've had to put it all aside and let it simmer before I revisit it.
13. Do you have any advice for other writers?
Being connected to our own purpose for writing will help to propel you through the challenges of writing. When I looked around at my current life of peace and contentment, I realized I wanted to share my journey through the pain to hope so as to inspire others.
Our stories matter. We are all enriched, inspired and empowered when we share them. The only way to do this is to write even if it’s not for publication. Write for yourself first and be open to where the process takes you. Show up!
Emotional distance from your story helps you to see it as a story so you can reflect on the meaning behind the events rather than use your writing to process your feelings. That you can do in a private journal, which can be the seeds for your story. If you are going to write for publication, never ever do so to disparage another. When we present ourselves as fully human and vulnerable, our reader will be able to connect and find their own story in our story.
If you are writing for publication, commit to excellence in every phase of the process—learn your craft, hire professional editors, book cover designers,etc. Develop your audience and establish your platform via social media, market yourself and your message before you publish.
14. Do you have anything specific that you want to say to your readers?
I want to invite you, my readers, into my story in a way that will help you identify with your own stories. You have not been alone. I hope you will find your own strength within and believe that you can find your own source of peace and joy in your own lives. Mostly, I want to have the time we spend together be enjoyable and life-affirming.
Blog:
Kathleen Pooler blogs weekly at: Memoir Writer’s Journey: Sharing Hope One Story At A Time
Vlog:
Watch Kathleen Pooler & Subscribe To Her YouTube Channel:
Published Works:
One of her stories “The Stone on the Shore” is published in the anthology: “The Woman I've Become: 37 Women Share Their Journeys From Toxic Relationships to Self-Empowerment” by Pat LaPointe, 2012.
Another story: “Choices and Chances” is published in the mini-anthology: “My Gutsy Story” by Sonia Marsh, 2012.
Marquita Herald is a personal growth specialist, small business marketing consultant, and the author of seven books on life by design and the business of being an author. She is also the creator of the award winning personal growth blog, IGG - Tips, Tools & Tantalizing Ideas, and The Business of Being an Author blog.
Her professional background includes a successful 30 year career in international sales and marketing, followed by a decade as a Life and Small Business Coach.
Marquita makes her home in Maui, Hawaii and in her own words: "My mission is to inspire readers to embrace that we are each as powerful as we allow ourselves to be … that we can choose to create our own life experience."
Pick a label – personal growth, personal development, self-help, personal transformation – self directed learning – whatever you choose to call it, the process ultimately boils down to improving some aspect of your life circumstances and feeling of well-being. We primarily explore three core topics here at IGG … learning to make better choices to intentionally create your best life, developing greater resilience to thrive through life’s inevitable challenges and unexpected detours, and serving a purpose larger than yourself by making a difference in the world around you. IGG isn’t about “quick fixes” but rather providing tools, strategies and encouragement to …
Reach a little beyond what’s comfortable to achieve goals that matter.
Refuse to accept simply “getting along” in life out of fear or limiting beliefs.
Cultivate the skills to become stronger and more resilient.
Learn to master the self-motivation skills that will keep you energized and moving forward.
Make the choices that will create the fulfilling life you really want for yourself.
Choose happiness, each and every day.
About The Business of Being An Author The Business of Being an Author blog is intended for writers who desire to make some or all of their living around writing books. This commitment isn’t as simple as making a decision about a job … it’s a lifestyle choice. It takes a lot of time … maybe even years, courage, dedication, planning and perseverance to achieve any level of success as an author, and at times it can be a pretty lonely journey. But it can also be incredibly rewarding. You’ll find I use the term “author business” regularly, and the reason for that is there really are only two ways to look at this business of writing and publishing books – either it’s your hobby or it’s your business. If you’re prepared to cultivate a business mindset about your writing, then you are definitely in the right place! My approach to the author business model is likely going to be somewhat different from most others you will come across. The combination of marketing, personal growth and coaching experience in my background means that I focus not just on the nuts and bolts of building an author business – though that is very important – but I also emphasize the intangible. The personal growth and resilience characteristics required while striving to achieve dreams and goals. In fact, you may notice that I often include butterflies in my themes, and the reason for that is they represent change and growth as in one of my favorite quotes.
We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the change it has gone through to achieve that beauty.
~Maya Angelou
You should also know I have on occasion (good naturedly) been accused of being something of a “cheerleader” in my writing and coaching, and I’m okay with that. The way I look at it, most people don’t have nearly enough cheerleaders in their life, especially when striving to achieve a dream. So if you’ll allow me, I’d like to be your cheerleader on your journey to grow a successful and sustainable author business.
Interview with Marquita Herald
1: I have often thought that the best writers are the ones who have had the most peaks and valleys in life. Will you share with us some of your peaks and valleys?
Hum, well in my case that would make for quite a roller-coaster ride, but I’ll be happy to share a couple of highlights. On the valley side, I’m an ADOC (adult child of alcoholic) and the experiences growing up with that alone would fill a book. Fast forward through 25 years of marriage and a divorce after my husband suddenly decided he wanted to “drop out” of society, and then 10 years ago I was diagnosed with a rare degenerative eye disease and was told there was no cure and I would be blind within 6 months.
On the peak side, in another lifetime I did a crazy thing and moved to Maui, Hawaii with no prospects for a job. Proceeded to fake my way into a entry level secretarial job to get my foot in the door of the travel industry (another book length story) and literally worked my way up from the bottom to a high level sales and marketing position and a very successful 30 career that blessed me with the opportunity to travel around the world and back again. And, despite the dire forecast, I never lost my sight because I refused to accept the diagnosis - opted for highly experimental surgery that was so successful, I’m told it’s been written up in journals.
Today I write about personal transformation and how to become more resilient in life, and there are very few things I write about that I haven’t experienced personally.
2: You have accomplished a lot in your life as a writer, travel industry sales professional, and small business coach. Besides writing, what is your career now?
Writing is my passion and that’s where I invest most of my time. I manage 2 blogs and have written 8 books, with 3 more due out before the end of this year. I still do a bit of small business coaching and mentoring, and I’m developing online courses for personal growth and to help my fellow authors build a business around their writing.
3: What inspired you to become a writer?
I’ve always been more comfortable with the written word than with speaking. To be honest I would have kept that to myself were it not for various employers over the years that took full advantage and assigned me the task of writing everything from training materials to press releases to film scripts. I even co-wrote a Hawaiian cook book for a local fundraiser. No matter what I did I ended up being enlisted to write, so one day I just decided it was time to start taking credit for it and began writing under my own name.
4: What advice would you give to women leaders who have gone into business or would like to, but do not know how to take the first step?
During more than a decade of small business coaching I’ve seen far too many people go into a new venture with the mindset that they’ll just “give it a try” and that really won’t get you very far. Take the time to decide what you reallywant in life, and then go for it with all you’ve got. When you are truly passionate about something you will find a way to make it happen, and once you take that first step, and the next and the next, it really is amazing how doors begin to open.
This is why I teach people how to be more resilient. It’s not that those who have cultivated a survivor mindset don’t experience setbacks and unexpected detours; it’s that they refuse to be defined by them and are always looking for the lessons and opportunity for growth in each experience.
5: If there are one or two sentences that would describe what you would like to impart to your readers, what would it be?
Regardless of age or circumstances, it’s never too late to become the person you are meant to be and create the life you really want for yourself.
6: What advice would you give to women who are trying to "connect" with their true purpose in life?
I know a lot of people really struggle with the “purpose” question. I truly believe purpose is all about using your unique gifts (and we all have them) to make a positive difference in this world. If someone is having a difficult time clarifying their purpose, then they should focus on their passion, because within their passion they will find their purpose. My passion has always been writing; it just took me awhile to determine how to best use that in a way that felt right for me and in the process benefit others.
7. What are 5 final things you need women to remember?
1.Always challenge yourself to stretch a little beyond what’s comfortable to achieve goals that matter.
2.True motivation is internal - if you really need to hear that perfect thing to keep you going - you need to say it to yourself and BELIEVE it.
3.Refuse to accept simply "getting along" in life out of fear or limiting beliefs.
4.Courage is more important than confidence. Courage is choosing to act in spite of fear.
5.You have the power to choose happiness, each and every day.
